I didn’t choose to be left behind in that month of May 

My bags were packed

My head full of jokes

I heard from Joe during recess 

One last check, one last glare

They thought I didn’t know 

A ghost through the curtains 

is always certain 

His hand touched her cheek;

The mark left was my dog’s enemy.

Sprinted back to the car.

Susie was dancing 

in circles.

I grabbed and pushed her into the backseat 

They came 

“Why is she crying?”

My mom said

as she fixed 

her makeup;

My father said 

a prayer as he gripped

the steering wheel.

Amen.

The lake always broke through quiet times before.

On the coarse damp sand

We’d laugh and 

build castles 

that lasted past noon.

I’d float in the water and

My hair, straight and blond, became cling wrap. 

The car swerved and I looked up.

My mom had been a seating rock 

held up by the grab handle.

“Calm down.”

Her mouth a straight line. 

“Catherine.”

I almost hadn’t recognized my father’s voice, rough and low.

My mom reached and turned the radio on 

And nothing else could come between.

I lowered the window, 

The cool morning breeze welcomed me.

I tapped my fingers

on the tip of glass 

as we neared the trip’s gateway.

Waterfall bridge was a local landmark 

that always needed fixing 

It stretched out amongst the pines.

Its two lanes were narrow and built for cattle.

I didn’t trust the bridge 

I’d count its length 

1, 2, 3

Headlights at a distance 

4, 5

A red van

6

It was a time when sight was blind

but I swear his left hand jerked the steering wheel.

White clouds

Drifting 

Olvido 

mi niñez, 

mi anhelo

como el naranjal olvida

los azahares

que no crecen a naranja.

In the field where we once grew,

I wondered why the deer departed 

as I pulled marigolds from their home.

Before the final petal fell,

I ate that wicked flower.

No lies left behind in its shadow.

The promises of stars

became celestial ash

marking our footprints,

scars.

Our plans became 

burned maps of places 

we would never see.

I tried to give you my soul,

only the weeds could hear me 

but they soon died from pesticides.

Let’s walk on the tree-lined boulevard.

Football season.

I don’t care for sports but you do

and I care for you.

Life gave us short change 

on a summer’s day.

Then in the fall,

a key thrown past a post

but I cut the field goal.

I dream of yesterday

dressed like a king

crowned by yew trees.

Your pinkie near mine

a promise owed to time.

The walk is a winding road 

leading to the start

with no end goal 

or throne of gold.

You fade like a breeze between teeth.

Noble wins belong to you, not me.

I, once a gem,

return to the path like a pebble,

And now, 

only the trees remember our story.

Niña con el rostro de oro falso

y ojos del mundo oscuro.

Había sueños que eran claros 

pero un poco raros.

No sé si la luz brillaba negra o blanca 

en el espacio de tu sombra.

Niño con el cabello de luz,

nadando por el mar azul.

Dueño del pasado y amor negado 

abierto como regalo.

Las olas te llevaron a un futuro más genuino 

que aquella quien mirabas como tu destino.

 

Niños una vez enamorados

entre páginas de pirámides.

Creció la distancia como carnero y ballena

porque un silencio condena.

I always swore  

I’d never etch love onto pages

but I’ve become obsessed with

Florida license plates,  hoping

to catch a glimpse of  your face  –  

driving among metal ants. 

I always swore  

I’d keep your name  

curled as a secret on my tongue,

but lately it seeks release

from my lips –  

like a kiss that never breathed 

I – a cure

you thought you sought but

now the space between 

the past and future –

remains a hidden trap of leaves 

and I –

the only victim claimed

your voice – a lost whisper 

my eyes – a shield of memory

your mind was mine

so was your soul

but I morphed into a pangolin 

destined to be chosen

then left broken

still pierced beneath hard scales.